A life of debt

 Living in debts could be one of the worst feelings that one could have, I didn't say the worst but one of the worst. Now that I have been ridden with it and trying to fight my way out of it, I felt it was my own negligence that has gotten me this way. Laziness, negligence, disregard and slackness seemed to be the order of the day for sometime now a trait which I have felt has crept in. From this experience I would rather not go through an ordeal such as this again. I know I'm not the only one, after appying for a refinance I was somehow surprised at the amount of files stacked with declined written on the paper band that held those file. It was thick enough that I knew if that girl carried it, she might have back cramps, that brought a little relief but still the thing is I didn't care about the debt but how I ended up to be such a wimp with that debt makes me doubting myself........  

The Wicked Man

 

“I am a wicked man... But do you know, gentlemen, what was the main point about my wickedness? The whole thing, precisely was, the greatest nastiness precisely lay in my being shamefully conscious every moment, even in moments of the greatest bile, that I was not only not a wicked man but was not even an embittered man, that I was simply frightening sparrows in vain, and pleasing myself with it.”

― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground